I know I have Cancer

I guess it's official. I know I have Cancer and I am hiding it from my feelings. i sat with my Dr. today and he showed me the results of my PET scan from last week. "Of course he showed you what you expected to see. And it was his word what the colored scans on the monitor mean. After all he is a Cancer Dr. and I was there because he told me I have Lymphoma in the 1st place." says Denial ever watchful against scams.

After a Bone Biopsy (He said it would be a 10 on the pain scale, it was only a 7.) and a gallon & 1/2 of blood work drawn, I sat down with the pharmacologist and went over the Chemo regimen 1 5-6 hour day in the clinic 6 days on an oral medication (Prednisone) for 5 days then 3 weeks of "rest" See I am focusing on the procedure and not on my feelings or physical reaction.

Yes there will be side effects and losing my hair is at the top of the list. Hmmmmm maybe I'll auction it off. I wonder what I will decide to do. They suggest a "buzz" or Marine cut before before starting Chemo. Not a bad idea. But I have a lot of resistance to that going back to my Father force-feeding ultra-short hair cuts on me as a kid and up to High School. But that's a story for another day.

Back to today. I really am not feeling anything except tired I am definitely still floating down that River in Egypt.

I am not blogging or posting all of my Cancer journal entries. I am will post the best of my writing here. (and the most interesting ones on Facebook in the "notes" section.

Patrick The Man in the Hat